


Cryptic Hush

by NinjacookieXD



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjacookieXD/pseuds/NinjacookieXD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FrostIron Highschool AU - The one who can't remember, and the one who can't forget: Loki Odinson and Tony Stark have both had terrible things happened to them in the past but can their new found relationship get them to open up? Or will their secrets forever remain in an encrypted silence? Warnings: Self harm (it's not all depressing) and FrostIron -if that is a warning? But regardless, please enjoy :D (DISCONTINUED HERE- But it's all on ff. Net if you want to read it all. There's a fair few mistakes though, as it was written when I was younger so... Yeah)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or Dead By April/their songs or any songs that are in later chapters :) 
> 
> Also, there may be some chapters that are triggering, i will warn before hand. This chapter is triggering.

The knife lay in front of him on the bed, it's long, sharp silver blade gleaming inviting up at him.

He sat with his legs crossed and the only sound he could hear was from his iPod player, which was blaring out any song that happened to come up on the shuffle option.

Staring at the knife with lifeless green eyes, he picked it up tentatively, feeling the heavy weight between his fingers. It felt cold in his hands as he eyed it with a disheartened gaze.

'Now I'm being something I'm not,  
Memories gone, I'm falling behind.  
Now I'm standing, lonely in tears,  
My heart is gone I'm falling behind!'

He chuckled humourlessly at the lyrics, thinking that his iPod couldn't have picked a better song for this moment. He glanced at the knife again and sighed dejectedly as he raised the blade to his wrist. He traced the fragile skin there hesitantly, taking a deep shaky breath before slicing the knife deep into the skin and creating a long red line across where his veins were.

He cried out, dropping the knife back onto the bed and clutched at his arm as tears sprung into his arm. The pain was horrible, but it was nothing to the sufferings he's had to endure his whole life.

The memories of why he did this came rushing into his mind all at once, the sadness, the pain, the inner anguish, and a rage built up within him. He picked up the knife quickly and, without a second thought, gave the other wrist the same treatment.

'(I never felt so alone)  
there's no turning back,  
(Forgiveness is long gone)  
I'm falling behind,  
(I never felt so closed)  
the legions are near me,  
(I'm falling behind; I'm losing my words now)  
(I'm falling behind; my life becomes lifeless)  
(I'm falling behind!)'

He fell down, silent cries escaping his dry lips as blood trickled out from the cuts, seemingly endlessly. Clutching at his bleeding wrists, he curled up into a ball as his vision started to fade from the lack of blood, he must've hit an artery.

He began to feel faint, his vision blurred and the music grew quieter. Just before his consciousness completely left, he heard the faint sound of a door being kicked open, followed by the blurred shape of his brother rushing forward.

The figure shouted his name, moving forward to embrace his broken and shattered body. The last thing he heard before he passed out was the last lines of the song on the player.

'Now I'm standing lonely in tears  
(lonely in tears!)  
My heart is gone, I'm falling behind!'


	2. Chapter one

_3 years later..._

Loki's eyes flung open and he found himself staring up at the ceiling of his room, panting breathlessly. He groaned then sat up, rubbing his eyes as he shook his head to forget the dream. He then glanced nonchalantly over at his alarm clock.

**7:32**

'Huh. I got time.' he thought as he lay back down and shut his eyes again, in an attempt to sleep again. But apparently that was not the case as his brother flung open the door, bounding up to his bed and shaking him.

"Hey, wake up. First day of school today, remember Brother?"

Loki groaned, pulling his duvet down from his face to glare at Thor as the blonde oaf just grinned at him. "Do I have to go? Just leave me be, I want to sleep." he said, then rolled away from Thor and shut his eyes again.

Thor rolled his eyes and walked over to the window. Loki cried out in annoyance as Thor flung open the curtain which filled Loki's vision from the dark sanctity of his room to the blinding light of the morning sun which shone in his face.

"Alright, alright! I'm up!" Loki grumbled as he sat up again. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and glanced at Thor who smiled back at him. His brother was wearing a pair of faded jeans, a navy blue jumper and had his long blonde hair neatly scrapped back into a small ponytail.

"Get dressed. Mothers got breakfast ready, and were starting without you!" He gave Loki a wide grin then shot off out his room and thundered down the stairs.

Loki rolled his eyes then stretched and stood in search of some clothes.

True, Thor wasn't his brother by blood but he still called him and acted like nothing had changed. In fact, when Thor had found out Loki had been adopted, his adoration and 'brotherly-ness' had just increased, despite Loki's initial annoyance. He just went along with it now, it was just something that he ignored most of the time but he secretly still felt an amount of brotherly compassion for the blonde teen.

He pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees, a baggy black vest top and a dark green hooded jacket then wandered out his room and downstairs in search of his morning food.

When he reached the dining room, he wasn't at all surprised to see Thor already wolfing down his breakfast. He heard a distance clattering noise that came from the kitchen which told him that his mother was probably washing something, and the faint flicker of a newspaper turning from the living room, which was his step father, Heimdall. Well, actually he should probably say second step father, as Odin could have counted as the first...

He shivered at the thought of the name and swallowed as he pushed the memories back and sat down. Frigga had left Odin a two or three years back, but that was a story for another day, one story which Loki should like very much to forget completely.

"Are you eating, or  _inhaling_  your food?" He asked Thor, eyeing him warily as he grabbed a slice of toast from the centre of the table. Thor just shrugged and carried on. Loki rolled his eyes as he spread butter and strawberry jam on the crispy bread slice then bit into it hungrily.

He smiled as Frigga walked into the room and smiled back at him. "Morning Loki, did you sleep well?"

"It was... Okay." He said slowly, his eyes not straying from his food.

He heard her sigh and felt her and Thor's questioning gazes. "Did you have another nightmare?"

Loki sighed and placed his toast back down. "No... I guess I'm just... Nervous." he lied, not wanting his family to worry about him on his first day.

Thor went back to eating as Frigga gave him a comforting smile. "There's nothing to worry about. You and Thor are both new there today and I'm sure you'll both make lots of friends."

Loki smiled but inwardly scoffed. 'Yeah, I'll most likely end up alone while Mr. popular over there gets lots.' It wasn't like he actually cared over who got friends, in fact, he thought it would be bothersome to make friends. He hated the thought if someone knowing  _everything_  about him and constantly talking to him, besides his family that is. In the most likely scenario, he would end up hanging out alone or wind up with Thor and his new friends.

After they had eaten and washed themselves, the two teens had sat with Heimdall in the living room as Frigga cleaned up. They got on well with the man, Loki probably more so because of his hatred for Odin.

As Heimdall sat Reading the paper, he spoke without looking up Ito the room. "You guys got everything?"

"Yup." Thor replied straight away. "What about you Loki?"

Loki nodded uncertainly and glanced at his rucksack. It felt like something was missing...

"Do you have your wristbands?" Heimdall asked, glancing up from his paper and raising an eyebrow at Loki, who glanced down then panicked.

"Uhh, thanks, I'll go get them." He jogged quickly up to his room, fumbling about on his desk to find the two wristbands that Thor and Frigga had kindly picked out and brought for him. One was a dark green and had a small yellow reindeer silhouette on one corner. The other was checkered black and white, like a chessboard.

He rolled up his sleeves and pulled them onto his wrists, pulling them up so they hid the dark scars that had lay there. Thor and Frigga had brought him these shortly after he had been dispatched from the hospital after the incident, so that he could hide his mistake from the rest of the world. When waking up in the hospital, he immediately regretted his actions, apologising for his mistake and broke down in tears, only to be comforted and reassured by his the woman that had been his mother and boy who had been his older brother for as long as he could remember.

He sighed as he pulled his sleeves back down over the wrist bands and stood in his room for a moment. He glanced around and smirked at the various posters that lay around his room. He didn't have that many, but he enjoyed the few that he had. Two were band posters, one for a movie which he had watched and loved, and the rest were of extremely hot men.

Yep, he was gay. Although, that was one thing that he  _definitely_  kept inside his family. Frigga thought it was sweet and loved the fact that she had a gay son, a fact that always made Loki roll his eyes. Thor didn't see a problem with it, neither did Heimdall but they didn't comment on it, which Loki was fine with.

From downstairs, Thor's loud voice came booming up. "LOKI! IT'S TIME TO GO!"

Loki rolled his eyes then shouted back, "COMING!" before turning back to his desk and grabbing his green iPod. He shoved the earphones inside his ears and threaded the earphones long chord down his vest top, so that the headphone looked like they were connected to his stomach, and he turned it on and shoved it in his pocket. He glanced at himself in the mirror and pulled his hood up over his long black hair, pulling it back so it didn't mess up under the cloth, before grabbing his phone and turning around to jog downstairs. He said goodbye to Frigga and Heimdall who wished luck to both of them before he and Thor grabbed their bags and left.


	3. Chapter Two

Loki walked along the road, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets and his earphone blaring music into his ears. Thor walked next to him but was blissfully unaware of the lack of attention he was gaining.

"So I hope that, Loki are you even listening to me?"

He kept on walking and gazing nonchalantly up at the trees that they passed, softly mouthing the words.

"Loki." Thor said louder. Still no response. He tapped him on the shoulder and received a glare.

"What?" He said annoyed, pulling out one earphone but and sighing and he looked at Thor.

"I was saying, I hope you'll try to make friends here. It's a nice area, I don't want to have to move again."

"Yes because getting bullied by those guys was really my fault." Loki spat back then reattached his earphone and strode ahead. Thor sighed then jogged to catch up.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, could you just try and stay out of trouble."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "You're asking me, the god of mischief to stay out of trouble?"

Thor chuckled. "Still using that old nickname eh? Come on 'Silvertongue', were almost at the bus stop."

Loki glared when Thor used his other nickname but shook his head as they carried on walking.

-/-/-

They arrived at the bus stop earlier than planned, much to Loki's annoyance, so they had to stand and wait around. Thor got talking to a boy who looked to be the same age as them but with short blonde hair and blue eyes. 'He looks like a young soldier...' Loki thought as he eyed him warily.

He stood leaning against the side of the bus shelter, idly scrolling through old texts in his phone when it suddenly buzzed in his hands. He jumped slightly then let a slow breath out through his nose and looked at the text he had received.

'Good luck to you and Thor on your first day. Call us later to know how it went!  
\- Fandral xx'

Loki rolled his eyes and shoved the phone back in his pocket. In primary school, he and Thor had stuck together like glue, and even had the same friends. Sif, Hogun Volstagg and Fandral. Although, at the start of their first year at secondary, Fandral and Loki had started dating. Then the incident happened and Loki decided to break it off, as he didn't want the other boy to worry about him or know what happened.

Regardless of that fact, the other boy had always kept keen, in the hope that one day Loki might change his mind but Loki's feelings for him left and they both decided that they were better of as friends. That didn't stop the Fandral from flirting from time to time though.

When Loki and Thor had moved after the incident, they had kept in contact. Often they would have Skype calls with them and share news of their lives. Loki secretly missed them, as since they first moved, he had gained no friends. They had to move firstly because they needed to escape from their old house. For Loki especially, there were not many good memories there.

In their first secondary school after the move, he got bullied and because he was still fresh out the hospital, it affected him more than it normally would have so they moved. The second, Loki went through a violent streak, thanks to the ongoing nightmares he had and would often lash out at anyone who tried to talk to him. And the third, he had often skived school if not just simply lashed out again.

This school they were headed to was sort of a last hope type thing. Loki knew that if he misbehaved, got bullied or complained about the nightmares then he would be sent to a councillor. He had been to see one when he got out of hospital but he had hated in and hadn't been since.

So he was at least going to put up a façade for the teachers and his family. He didn't want them to worry but neither did he want their help. No. For now, he would just simply attend school and ignore the nightmares.

He was pulled from his thoughts as he heard Thor's booming laughter, followed by two steps of footsteps coming closer to him.

"This is my younger brother, Loki."

He looked up and saw Thor and the blonde boy standing in front of him. He smiled and extended a hand. "Steve Rogers. I go to Shield High too."

Loki glanced down at the hand then back up into the boys face. Up close, he didn't look all that bad, although he seemed to have a lot of products in his hair to keep it in place. Loki gave him a tight smile as he shook his hand. "I'm Loki..."

Steve still smiled as he let go of Loki's hand and turned to Thor."I'll see you at in some classes perhaps."

Thor grinned. "I should like that too. Farewell."

Steve smiled at Thor then turned and nodded at Loki before turning around completely and walking over to a girl with long strawberry-blonde hair to engage in a new conversation.

Loki's eyes wandered momentarily to Steve's ass as he walked off and he couldn't help think that it looked nice. Although he seemed too much of a nice guy for him, and he looked almost too perfect, and his fashion sense looked like it came from out the 1940's.

Thor chuckled which made Loki slide his gaze back to him at a glare. He raised his eyebrow and got one raised in return.

"Loki, no."

Loki smirked and pulled out his iPod to change the track. "Oh come on, I wasn't actually... He's clearly not my type."

Thor rolled his eyes and pulled a sort of annoyed look on his face before the two brothers glanced sideways at each other and burst out laughing.

"I'm just jesting brother. You know I care not for your sexu-mmf!"

He was cut off as Loki quickly darted a hand up to cover the blonde teens mouth, leaning in closer and looking around before hissing, "Remember we are not talking about that publicly like last time. I wish to keep that fact hidden this time to avoid any... unnecessary situations, are we clear?"

Thor nodded then turned abruptly on the spot as the bus came around the corner.

"Perfect timing. Let's go."

Loki sighed then followed Thor onto the bus, hoping that no-one heard that almost slip-up from Thor.


	4. Cryptic Hush - Chapter Three -

The first day went by like any other. Not a lot happened but in a way that was a good thing. Thor and Loki had been put into separate classes for every subject, much to Loki's annoyance as he didn't want to converse with anyone else, so he didn't see his brother until break.

In fact, he didn't even get to talk to him, as during their 15 minute break, as when Loki went in search of him, he spotted him hanging around with Steve and a group of other teens, both male and female. They all seemed to be very questioning of him, wanting to know everything about this mysterious new student, so Loki didn't want to disturb him as he looked to be having fun.

That wasn't to say Loki didn't get the sane amount of attention, because he did, but he just brushed everything off nonchalantly, giving short and uninteresting answers until everyone eventually tired of trying to suss him out.

Before Loki headed to his next lesson, he glanced over at Thor's group and was surprised to meet the curious gaze of a brown haired boy. The boy was leaning against a beam that supported the canopy that they were standing under, his hands shoved into his pockets as he eyed Loki curiously.

Loki stared at him a moment with narrow eyes before he shut them completely, turned, and walked off.

A similar situation happened to him at lunch time. He was sitting alone on a bench, his hood up again and earphones plugged into his ears as he silently gazed over the other students.

He glanced over at Thor's little group, which had gotten significantly smaller since earlier. Now, he stood in a group of about 6 others, including Steve, the blonde woman and the brown haired boy from earlier. The brown haired boy had glanced over at Loki once or twice, the first time he frowned, and then looked from Loki to Thor then Loki again before raising both his eyebrows. The second and further times, he just held a curious look.

Loki noticed that Thor had started to walk over to him, his new friends following behind as if he wanted to introduce them to him, but he still wasn't in the mood for conversing. He jumped up and walked off, pretending he didn't notice them coming over, or seeing the concerned look on Thor's face as he watched his brother walk off.

He had stayed in the library for the rest of lunch, quietly reading a book on poetry before he had to read for his last lesson which was English. He ambled out the library, replacing the book on the shelf before heading to his next lesson. He had a map of the school layout so the room was not that difficult to find.

When he got there, he had to wait around for a few minutes. He noticed two of Thor's new friends standing around but they ignored him. One was a boy with dark hair and glasses and he looked extremely bored. The other was the only woman he had seen earlier, one with short red hair and very pretty features. If he wasn't gay, he might've thought her cute.

They all went in and everyone took their seats as Loki stayed at the front, his eyes gazing apathetically around as they all got out their books. When everyone was seated, he was placed on an empty desk at the back of the classroom. Apparently whoever he was to sit with was either ill, cutting class or late.

Although he didn't have to wait long for an answer, as about ten minutes into the lesson, there was a loud crash outside followed by the footsteps of someone in a rush. The door flung open to reveal the mystery boy from earlier, his brown hair dishevelled and his eyes slightly narrowed as he straightened up and tried to walk nonchalantly into the room. The other students snickered as the teacher crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you late?"

"Ack! Uhh, I got lost?" the brunette tried, earning a few more snickers.

"You've been here for five years so I doubt you were. Why were you really late?"

The boy gulped and rubbed the back of his neck whilst his brain whirred to think up an excuse. "I wassss... Helping out an old lady..."

Even Loki cracked a small smile at the boy's attempt.

The teacher sighed and turned back around to the whiteboard. "Nice try. See me after class."

The boy groaned and the class chuckled again as the boy made his way over to his seat, the empty one next to Loki. He sat down and slumped his head onto the table before frowning and turning his gaze to Loki.

"You're... Thor's brother... Right?" he whispered, pointing a finger at him and narrowing his eyes again.

Loki nodded slowly. "Yes. He told you all about me then?"

The other boy shrugged. "Only that you are his brother. And you seem really sociable."

Loki raised an eyebrow and gave him a disbelieving look. "He said I'm sociable?"

The other boy smirked and shook his head. "No, I just figured that out, seeing as how you kept glancing over at us and didn't make a move to come over and talk. And also, when Thor took us over to introduce you, you scooted off like he was about to beat you or something."

Loki tensed at the word 'beat' but shook it off and smiled weakly. "I didn't feel like talking. It's bad enough I have to spend my time at home with him all the time without having to bear with him at school too."

The other boy chuckled then twisted around slightly more in his seat. "Thor didn't mention your name, or if he did, I wasn't listening. Mind telling me?"

Loki snorted then shook his head. "Loki."

The other boy smiled back at him but raised an eyebrow. "No last name in the introduction there Loki?"

Loki grimaced and shook his head. "We're... Not really fond of our surname, so we tend not to use it in introductions."

The other boy nodded sombrely and leant back on his chair. "I get'cha. I'm quite proud of mine although whenever I introduce myself with it, everyone seems to think they know everything about me and tries to be my friend because of it. It's kind of a downer really, being famous and all but,' he shrugged, 'comes with the price that we all gotta pay."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Then who might you be?"

"Ah, so you've heard of me but never seen me. Interesting..." He smirked and leant forward again, extending his hand out to Loki as he maintained the expression.

"Tony Stark. Nice to meet you."

"Never heard of you."


End file.
